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Mostly Harmless

Lyrics ©2026 by Bill and Gretchen Roper

Music ©2026 by Bill Roper


Gretchen and I wrote this song for the OVFF Songwriting Contest where the topic was "Mostly Harmless".

We are still working on the banter, but the kids are older now, so we should finish soon...

     G                            C
They say that having kids is an adventure.
  G                                D
A way to live your life in fullest measure.
    G
And everything’s all right
          C
When they fall asleep at night
    Em7
And then they start to crawl
        C
And you find they’re getting tall.
        Em
They’re not afraid to glide
     Am7/G
On a stairway carpet ride.
     C/G                     D
It’s just another kiddie holiday!


(Chorus)
               G
They’re mostly harmless
         C/G                            G
And it’s really good the kids are kinda cute.

Sometimes they’re charmless
   C/G                               D
Or just forget that they should be astute.
    C/G
And that is why you hear us call
      G                  Em
Don’t throw your sibling through the wall.
        C/G           D              G
They’re really mostly harmless after all.

Every day the kids are getting older
And every day the kids are getting bolder.
You think that they forgot
When in a parking lot
And one runs on ahead
And you think they’ll end up dead.
You yell at them to stop
And you’re gonna blow your top
When they turn and shout at you, “I looked both ways!”


(Bridge)
    Em7
You hope for journeys to the park.
C
Reading stories after dark.
  Em
Instead we find we’ve got a lark
Am7/G                    D
Singing choruses of Baby Shark.


The wish to learn new things can be intensive.
And everything just seems to be expensive.
Imagine private hells
For the man who made the bells.
It’s like hanging from your thumbs
As they’re banging on the drums.
And your head begins to spin
As they play the violin.
There’s always room for cello in the hall!

(Chorus)
        C/G           D              Em
They’re really mostly harmless after all.
        C/G           D              G
They’re really mostly harmless after all.